How Are You Feeling Today?

This ain’t a joke and it ain’t simple as it sound. But once you feel, what you’re meant to do or at least get a hint of your real purpose in life, it will make you jump for joy! You’re eyes lit up. A bulb switches on your head like “ding!” and no other reason in your mind except the thought that, wow, this is what i should really be doing! I completely feel aligned with everything! It’s not as mindblowin’ as i’ve envisioned it. But it makes you think, type, write, think of 60 words per minute to describe what you’re truly feeling! And it is one of the most FREEING FEELING ever!

Well, maybe it‘s because i didn’t wash my hair this morning and spent almost 48 hours of not washing, spending the whole day in the heat and outdoors, eeeek! I honestly woke up lazy cos for the 7th time in a row i slept in instead of running in the morning! Or maybe i’ve reached my threshold of eating junkfood that i felt completely disgusted yet satisfied (burp!) with myself. Or, maybe because it was after watching Lizzo on Elle song association that her energy and cheerfulness rubbed on me. Shoutout! big thanks to 100% that bitch! Or simply, that the stars were aligned and i felt like me again. FREE. I feel free.

For the loooongest time (like 3 weeks actually, it seemed like forever) i didn’t feel like myself. I was repressing speaking out my mind. I walked around like a zombie with a limiting belief and probably like a rain cloud above me, that my thoughts aren’t important, that no one really cares. And i felt alone. Very alone. Unheard. The real problem was, i don’t want to be heard. Ting! A limiting belief right there. It’s me constantly pushing others away, avoiding to confront others and my inner thoughts. And the opposite freeing feeling to that is to say whatever is on my mind regardless of what people will think cos whether it’s short or long or even unworthy of people’s time… it doesn’t matter!

Stop overthinking what others will think. Period. Easy to say. Yet honestly, it was so much of a rollercoaster struggle for me.
Again and again, no promises. Just baby steps toward speaking my truth. Blog. Draw. Spread happiness. Are some words to live by. That’s all.

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